VALENTINE'S DAY

[sculpted]

[[DO YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS, ROUTE 29? IT'S GODDAMN VALENTINE'S DAY, THAT'S WHAT IT IS

and what could possibly be more fitting for the most beautiful day of the year than Major Alex Louis fucking Armstrong and his set of absolutely perfectly sculpted muscles?

But you could get that any day of the year! So what's special about today? Why, he's got two friends with him! And he's dazzling so hard that....well, his very words appear to be sparkling!]]

Truly, this is the most beautiful day of the year, friends!

[[Already crying deeply, here's Armstrong himself! But who is with him?

It's Hughes! He glances down at the outfit he's wearing, and then back up at Armstrong.]]

Well, this is certainly interesting!

[[Have a joking flex at the camera. He's laughing too hard to take himself seriously. But at least someone is having fun.]]

I can see why you enjoy this so much, Major! [[Not really. But in the spirit of all things happy, today he can.]] Ah, you know! If I'd dressed like this back home, we might have more than just little Elicia! But Elicia is all I really need in my life.

[[Whipping out a picture. Where does he keep those things? Nobody really knows.]]

JUST LOOK AT THIS ADORABLE LITTLE GIRL...!!

[[However, there's one more to add to the party....]]

Come on, knock it off, Armstrong!

[[It's Isaac!! That said, he's laughing. The happy feelings are infectious, after all!]]

[[SO NOW YOU'VE MET THE CAST. The worst best part? They're all dressed in costumes like THIS!

Where did they get them? Why did they get them? Who really cares? The point is, you're about to faced down by three very manly men (...well, two manly men + Hughes) wearing nothing but tight black pants and a bowtie collar, ready to educate you in the fine art of artistic shirtless flexing.]]


I am simply overwhelmed with the beauty and majesty of you, my friends!

Together, we will display our artisticly trained muscles to the world!

[[YOUR BODIES

THEY

ARE

NOT

READY]]



[[OOC: BASICALLY, COMMENT IN THIS POST AND HAVE THREE FMA-STYLE CHIPPENDALES DANCING AT/WITH YOU AND POTENTIALLY ASSAULTING YOU WITH SPARKLES AND PICTURES OF ADORABLE 3 YEAR OLDS. YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT, LBR.

FEEL FREE TO USE THIS AS A MINGLE POST TOO! EVERYONE IS WELCOME TO COME ANND TALK ABOUT HOW TERRIFYING BEAUTIFUL A SIGHT THIS IS!]]

Comments

[explosivecombat]

[You know...]

...what in the world are you doing, anyway?

[glaciates]

[JOIN US, KIMBLEE. JOIN USSSSSS~]

[Oh hang on, an actual question! Let's... try to come up with an answer for that!]

Having fun? I don't know. Armstrong and Hughes talked me into it.

[Aren't they the best bros ever? Oh my god everything is glorious today~!!]

[explosivecombat]

[Oh facepalm...]

...I really wish I could say I'm surprised.

I'm not.

[glaciates]

Yeah, they're kind of forceful when they've got it in their heads to do something!

[He's still grinning like a maniac though. Good luck getting this horrible image out of your head, Kimblee!]

[explosivecombat]

[EIDETIC MEMORY, YOU JERK.

Oh my god, a million blindfolds - he needs about a million blindfolds. And maybe someone to hold the bleach steady while it's being poured into his ear; hopefully it'll get to his brain in short order.]

Well, that's...certainly one way of putting it, isn't it.

[glaciates]

[Oh come on, that's a bit much, isn't it? You should be honored to see such a-- oh wait this isn't Archer and Isaac isn't an egotistical douchebag. Never mind!]

Oh come on, what's that look for?

[explosivecombat]

[Mental Image No One Needed #672: Archer in a Chippendale's outfit.

Why did you just provide this mental image.

As it stands, you can have the most dismissive handwave ever, Isaac.]

Nothing, nothing. You go...enjoy yourself, I suppose.

[glaciates]

[Always happy to provide, bb~]

Oh come on, Kimblee! You should enjoy yourself too!

[explosivecombat]

Ah...

[Oh, don't you even think about trying to get him involved in this.]

No, I'm enjoying myself rather well already, believe me.

[glaciates]

Really? It doesn't seem like it. You need to loosen up a little, Kimblee!

[Have a hearty slap on the back, senior!]

[explosivecombat]

[oh holy mother of wharrgarbl]

No, really, I'm quite fine -

1 / 2

[glaciates]

You really do need to lighten up, Kimblee.

[That seems to have actually gotten him to go serious for a moment there!]

We aren't returning home, Kimblee. We're here now. We might as well get used to it.

2 / 2

[glaciates]

...I'm sure Armstrong has another costume, now come on! Join us!

[So much for being serious...]

[explosivecombat]

[...lovely. What the hell are our lives, Isaac...]

Well, as valid as that advice is, I'm going to refrain from joining you anyway, if you don't mind.

[glaciates]

[Right now they're pretty amazing, ngl.]

Oh alright, fine~

[That said, you're not getting rid of him! So cue awkward! Granted, he doesn't seem very awkward, but he's used up all of his social interaction capabilities for the day!]

[explosivecombat]

[Well...you tried.]

Well, at the very least I suppose it's nice to see that you're determined to enjoy your afterlife.

[glaciates]

[He did!]

Of course. There's not much else I can do with it!

[explosivecombat]

Fair enough, I suppose.

[And now that we're no longer on the topic of clothing removal, Kimblee is more than willing to just. Relax a bit and go with it.

...the happybeaming is kind of nice, all right. Feels good, man. And it's musically-based!]

I can't complain at any rate. And it has been rather nice getting to see you again; it's been a while since we could talk properly. I've been enjoying it.

[...feeling perhaps a bit too good. Okay, hang on, let's try to rein in the words, Kimblee.]

[glaciates]

Y-yeah, it has...

[Well, it doesn't feel like it for him, but... That's not really the point!]

[Oh my god senior is happy to see him again what does he do with this.]

It's... good seeing you again too, Kimblee.

[explosivecombat]

Good to know. I'm flattered~

[Teasing you like hell?

Teasing you like hell.]

[glaciates]

[If you were trying to shut him up, then you've certainly succeeded! Instead you can have him awkwarding at you forever! Oh my god senior is flattered what does he do with this aaahhh~]

[explosivecombat]

[It's a bit hard to tell whether you're just speechless rn or completely fucking horrified, you know...

...who cares! Let's assume speechless.]

Oh, come now~ Weren't you just telling me to lighten up? Do take your own advice, Isaac.

[glaciates]

W-well yeah but...!

[It's mostly speechless! Though considering all compliments tend to render him somewhat horrified...]

[explosivecombat]

But what?

[glaciates]

[That's just awkward and you're making him feel awkward! Have some more silence then! Because what are words and how do they work.]