sculpted | VALENTINE'S DAY

[[DO YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS, ROUTE 29? IT'S GODDAMN VALENTINE'S DAY, THAT'S WHAT IT IS

and what could possibly be more fitting for the most beautiful day of the year than Major Alex Louis fucking Armstrong and his set of absolutely perfectly sculpted muscles?

But you could get that any day of the year! So what's special about today? Why, he's got two friends with him! And he's dazzling so hard that....well, his very words appear to be sparkling!]]

Truly, this is the most beautiful day of the year, friends!

[[Already crying deeply, here's Armstrong himself! But who is with him?

It's Hughes! He glances down at the outfit he's wearing, and then back up at Armstrong.]]

Well, this is certainly interesting!

[[Have a joking flex at the camera. He's laughing too hard to take himself seriously. But at least someone is having fun.]]

I can see why you enjoy this so much, Major! [[Not really. But in the spirit of all things happy, today he can.]] Ah, you know! If I'd dressed like this back home, we might have more than just little Elicia! But Elicia is all I really need in my life.

[[Whipping out a picture. Where does he keep those things? Nobody really knows.]]

JUST LOOK AT THIS ADORABLE LITTLE GIRL...!!

[[However, there's one more to add to the party....]]

Come on, knock it off, Armstrong!

[[It's Isaac!! That said, he's laughing. The happy feelings are infectious, after all!]]

[[SO NOW YOU'VE MET THE CAST. The ~~worst~~ best part? They're all dressed in costumes like THIS!

Where did they get them? Why did they get them? Who really cares? The point is, you're about to faced down by three very manly men (...well, two manly men + Hughes) wearing nothing but tight black pants and a bowtie collar, ready to educate you in the fine art of artistic shirtless flexing.]]

I am simply overwhelmed with the beauty and majesty of you, my friends!

Together, we will display our artisticly trained muscles to the world!

[[YOUR BODIES

THEY

ARE

NOT

READY]]

[[OOC: BASICALLY, COMMENT IN THIS POST AND HAVE THREE FMA-STYLE CHIPPENDALES DANCING AT/WITH YOU AND POTENTIALLY ASSAULTING YOU WITH SPARKLES AND PICTURES OF ADORABLE 3 YEAR OLDS. YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT, LBR.

FEEL FREE TO USE THIS AS A MINGLE POST TOO! EVERYONE IS WELCOME TO COME ANND TALK ABOUT HOW ~~TERRIFYING~~ BEAUTIFUL A SIGHT THIS IS!]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

She looks pretty powerful.

[Oh ow, did you really? Was that called for? The Wild Lapras used Sing! Take that, Kistna.]

Of course I do. You just throw a Pokéball at them, right?

[Someone actually bothered to talk to the NPCs and figure things out on his own!]

Not as much so as some of my others, but she's -

[...currently asleep.]

...well.

[Really.]

...if you would like to attempt capture, this might be a good time.

[Welp.]

[Alright, let's try this capturing thing! Antony, you're going in the water. No, don't derp at him, he can't look cool while throwing this Pokéball if you're herping in his arms, okay?]

[...Well, he can't really look cool while throwing this Pokéball anyway, but details.]

[Let's do this thing! Isaac tosses the Pokéball at the Lapras and after the ball wiggles three times it clicks and returns to Isaac's hand.]

Great! Thanks, Kimblee!

[OH MY GOD HE CAUGHT A THING! \o/]

[...yes, Isaac, you caught a thing. You are so herpily excited that you caught it, too, my god.]

Of course, Isaac. Don't mention it.

[No, really, don't mention it. His reputation.]

[Alright, well now that it's his the Lapras should listen, right? Let's call it out and see! This can't end badly at all!]

[Thankfully it really can't; the Lapras is very linefacey, but other than that she doesn't do much. Isaac examines her thoughtfully for a moment.]

Guess I'll have to come up with a name at some point.

[He'll just be examining the Gear for information on this new Pokémon, lost in his own little world for the time being. You are the best senior, okay.]

[Well, in the meantime Kimblee will just be recalling Kistna, who is a bit too busy being asleep to care; however, he isn't about to leave well enough alone just yet - he has no idea what the hell that thing was in the lake, but he's reasonably sure that it wasn't supposed to be there. Let's see what else there is, shall we?

He'll be sending out Abdiel then; god knows she'll make enough vibrations against the surface of the water to wake something up.]

Well, I would think so - what was that, exactly? I can't say I've seen one before now.

It's called a "Lapras." It's a Water and Ice-type.

[He'll be staring wide-eyed at that Gear for a moment before turning back to Kimblee in awe.]

It's stats are amazing! I mean, I've only got three Pokémon and it's a higher level than they are but...

[But it puts his Shellder to shame! Is it an evolved Pokémon or something? It's insanely good and it has a lot of moves too!]

I wonder if there's anything else in the lake...?

[...you keep herping at the Gear, it'll distract you from the giant dragonfly suddenly in Kimblee's face. He'll spend a moment giving her instructions before sending her off; it's not quite a game of "pretend you didn't just completely lose the stick you had your eye on two seconds ago", but it's close enough. Go forth and see what you can wake up, bb.]

Well, I intend to find out; if the things in here are as good as you say, then perhaps there's -

[...a very excited dragonfly over there because omgomgomgomg holy shit I found a thing.

A...very pretty thing, from the looks of it.

A very startlingly massive pretty thing holy shit Kimblee likes.

Time. We are not wasting it.]

Air Slash, Abdiel.

[Kimblee... is that...]

...Is that a giant dragonfly?

[Whoa, holy shit. Where did you even get that thing? You don't mind if Isaac headtilts at it, right?]

[Oh look it found something-- What the shit is that.]

[Well, Kimblee looks excited, at least?]

It is, yes.

[Oh, Kimblee is very excite; his voice has taken on an oddly quiet quality to it, but the sense of anticipation is incredibly obvious nonetheless.

And not only is that a giant dragonfly, it's also almost 50 levels higher than the sea serpent it's fighting, and as such that Air Slash is possibly the most spectacular bit of overkill it's landed in a while. On the routes Kimblee would have refrained from something like that, but the thing will be easily revived at the Center nearby, so he isn't concerned.

The capture is an easy one; he is smirking up a storm over here, Isaac.]

...excellent.

[...clearly Abdiel thinks so, too, as she's almost immediately back in his face and being her usual overaffectionately derpy self. Good god.]

[Wow that was impressive! So not only is this dragonfly pretty cool looking, but it's also powerful! Damn, Kimblee, you have some impressive things! Including one pretty sea serpent now.]

That was impressive.

[...That was an understatement, but it should be obvious just how impressive that was by the sheer amount of 8D over here.]

[So much smug, Isaac. So much smug.]

She's taken to her training well. Yanmega, by the way - another that I received as a gift about two months ago, though she was several levels higher, and I've trained her far more extensively than I have Kistna.

Someone must really like you.

[...You're kind of a likable douchebag, so that's not really surprising.]

She certainly looks powerful. I need to see you actually battle with your Pokémon at some point, Kimblee.

Well, given that we'll be here for quite some time, I don't doubt you'll see it eventually - and once you've built up a team and raised their levels, I don't see why you couldn't challenge me yourself.

Yeah, and by the time I've done that, you'll have raised your Pokémon an equal amount. I'm not going to challenge you if I'm going to lose, Kimblee.

[That's... actually teasing! Oh god what has this holiday done to him.]

[Okay, you've amused him with that, hang on.]

Perhaps, though I doubt we can continue raising them indefinitely; they stop learning moves past a certain level, you know. I doubt they'll be capable of just gaining levels forever; that would be a waste.

If that does turn out to be the case, I'll find out well before you; I'll let you know, and then I'll be awaiting this challenge of yours.

...Well then, I do hope that's the case. I'd like to challenge you eventually, Kimblee.

[IF HE CAN BEAT HIS SENIOR... Wait will that make him the senior? How would that even work?]

[He is your senior, always. It's pretty much the job of the junior to surpass the senior eventually, at which point he is still your senior, there's just not much of a proper role for him to fill in getting you to fail a bit less.

...of course, this works until your senior is a hypercompetitive douchebag like this one, in which case all bets are off and he will crush you in battle or else.]

...I would rather enjoy that, actually. I'll be looking forward to it.

[Oh come on, it's more fun if the senior is hypercompetitive! It makes it even more of a challenge that clearly he must rise to!]

Well, we'll see how it goes. Thanks again for the help, Kimblee.

VALENTINE'S DAY

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