VALENTINE'S DAY

[sculpted]

[[DO YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS, ROUTE 29? IT'S GODDAMN VALENTINE'S DAY, THAT'S WHAT IT IS

and what could possibly be more fitting for the most beautiful day of the year than Major Alex Louis fucking Armstrong and his set of absolutely perfectly sculpted muscles?

But you could get that any day of the year! So what's special about today? Why, he's got two friends with him! And he's dazzling so hard that....well, his very words appear to be sparkling!]]

Truly, this is the most beautiful day of the year, friends!

[[Already crying deeply, here's Armstrong himself! But who is with him?

It's Hughes! He glances down at the outfit he's wearing, and then back up at Armstrong.]]

Well, this is certainly interesting!

[[Have a joking flex at the camera. He's laughing too hard to take himself seriously. But at least someone is having fun.]]

I can see why you enjoy this so much, Major! [[Not really. But in the spirit of all things happy, today he can.]] Ah, you know! If I'd dressed like this back home, we might have more than just little Elicia! But Elicia is all I really need in my life.

[[Whipping out a picture. Where does he keep those things? Nobody really knows.]]

JUST LOOK AT THIS ADORABLE LITTLE GIRL...!!

[[However, there's one more to add to the party....]]

Come on, knock it off, Armstrong!

[[It's Isaac!! That said, he's laughing. The happy feelings are infectious, after all!]]

[[SO NOW YOU'VE MET THE CAST. The worst best part? They're all dressed in costumes like THIS!

Where did they get them? Why did they get them? Who really cares? The point is, you're about to faced down by three very manly men (...well, two manly men + Hughes) wearing nothing but tight black pants and a bowtie collar, ready to educate you in the fine art of artistic shirtless flexing.]]


I am simply overwhelmed with the beauty and majesty of you, my friends!

Together, we will display our artisticly trained muscles to the world!

[[YOUR BODIES

THEY

ARE

NOT

READY]]



[[OOC: BASICALLY, COMMENT IN THIS POST AND HAVE THREE FMA-STYLE CHIPPENDALES DANCING AT/WITH YOU AND POTENTIALLY ASSAULTING YOU WITH SPARKLES AND PICTURES OF ADORABLE 3 YEAR OLDS. YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT, LBR.

FEEL FREE TO USE THIS AS A MINGLE POST TOO! EVERYONE IS WELCOME TO COME ANND TALK ABOUT HOW TERRIFYING BEAUTIFUL A SIGHT THIS IS!]]

Comments

[explosivecombat]

That eager to get my clothes off, are you?

[...ladies and gentlemen, the classiest man in Amestris.]

1 / 3

[glaciates]

[.................]

2 / 3

[glaciates]

[............................]

3 / 3

[glaciates]

Th-that's not what I meant at all, Kimblee!

[OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU]

[explosivecombat]

Relax, relax; I'm not being serious, Isaac~

[Surely you don't think he was?]

[glaciates]

I knew that.

[...This is the guy who fails social interactions forever, Kimblee...]

[explosivecombat]

Then there's no reason to get so worked up, is there?

[And with that, we will just be heading off in the general direction of CATCHING THINGS

COME ON, ISAAC, YOU DON'T GET A SAY ANYMORE]

[glaciates]

[THIS IS AN EXCELLENT DIVERSION FROM THE AWKWARD, KIMBLEE!]

[Oh my god why are there new things anyway? Does this happen a lot? Anyway! We're going to head in the direction of that lake over there since Isaac likes Water-type Pokemon!]

I haven't really looked around much; what can you catch here?

[explosivecombat]

[That...works! Really, Isaac, at least you have a direction, Kimblee would have pretty much just fluffed off in the nearest direction of Things To Catch without really thinking about it otherwise.

...god, his mood has been awesome lately. And his impulse control is suffering rather hard for it.]

I'm not entirely sure, myself; I wasn't here for very long before I left to meet with you, and I haven't been catching very much lately as it is. So I suppose this will be interesting for both of us, in that regard.

[glaciates]

[Well he has to be able to fight the things he wants to catch! And the majority of his things don't do well in the grass so...]

Yeah, it will! You haven't showed me everything you've caught either. You've got the really impressive mammoth-thing...

[Look at this lake, isn't it impressive? Actually it really isn't. Wow, this has the potential to suck. Is there anything around here...?]

[explosivecombat]

Ah, Carlisle - he's been the one I've had longest, out of everything that I'm using.

[Accurate! This is completely and utterly accurate, given that he's now unable to use his starter.]

Perhaps I'll show you the other things I've raised sometime; everything in here is likely at too low a level for me to use any of the more powerful creatures I own, however.

[...well, Kimblee certainly isn't going in there to go check, but from what he's seen from spending time with Gorthan up north, there are usually those...really herpy tadpoles in ponds like these, right? And some sort of...little fish things that don't result in horrifying sea serpents. At least, that was all there was in the general vicinity of Mahogany Town; it's possible there are other things in here, but the chances of them being any good really aren't high, he's assuming.

...okay, so are we supposed to...throw a rock in there or what? WHAT THE HELL IS CATCHING WATER POKEMON.]

[glaciates]

Yeah, he looks pretty powerful!

[So he's totally your starter, then! Why would Johto give you a mammoth anyway? Well, whatever, it gave him a derpy clam. Anyway, it's time to find some water Pokémon!]

[What's the best way to find water Pokémon, you ask? Well that's obvious! Jumping in and looking for them!]

[Don't worry, Isaac can swim, at least! He'll call out his Shellder though and the herpy thing will splash around... doing nothing other than having fun. Good job, Antony.]

Let's see, something should show up eventually--

[And if on cue, a wild Lapras attacks! Except it's just kind of sitting there derping at him. Isaac grins and gestures for Antony to get into position. The Shellder doesn't look pleased.]

Antony! Tackle!

[This would work so much better if he actually had some decent attacks...]

[explosivecombat]

[...oh goodness gracious what is that]

Ah...!

[...

... ... ...

oh ffs

Are you seriously going to try to tackle it to death? That thing looks like a blimp - things that appear to be wearing some sort of armor on them tend to be rather strong in defense...]

Would you like some assistance, Isaac, or...

[He's already got Kistna out; she's a battle-happy little thing without being overly powerful, attack-wise. She'll work; if he doesn't get any sort of coherent answer, he's going to send her at this damn thing anyway.]

[glaciates]

[Considering the fact that the Lapras is linefacing at him and judging him...]

Yeah, that... would probably be good...

[Come back here, Antony. You're a useless, herpy thing. Isaac will just hold onto the Shellder then and the Lapras turns her attention on Kimblee and Kistna. She's still linefacing really hard.]

[explosivecombat]

[...right, this thing is just. Really judging, isn't she.]

Razor Wind, Kistna, if you will.

[It isn't the quickest of moves - it takes a moment to charge up, and it's likely going to let the Lapras get a good hit off on Kistna, but hopefully the level discrepancy is large enough to have that effectively not matter.

...of course, if Johto has decided that it has a sense of humor and put level 50 shit in this lake, Kimblee will be Very Displeased, but...]

[glaciates]

[If it has, this Lapras certainly isn't one of them! She's more powerful than the Shellder, but not by much. She'll attempt to use Water Gun on Kistna, but that Razor Wind will hurt. She seems even less pleased now. Bitch, it is on.]

[Isaac is more interested in the white... dog-thing you have out there.]

What kind of Pokémon is that, Kimblee?

[explosivecombat]

[Just. Have a smirk, Isaac, while Kistna shakes off the effects of that Water Gun. ...literally, as she has been hit and now she is soaked. It is on, indeed.]

Absol. She's a Dark-type that I received from an acquaintance about two months back.

Pursuit, Kistna, quickly now -

[Just. Have some more overpowered tapping, you.]

...you do know how to catch these things, don't you?

[glaciates]

She looks pretty powerful.

[Oh ow, did you really? Was that called for? The Wild Lapras used Sing! Take that, Kistna.]

Of course I do. You just throw a Pokéball at them, right?

[Someone actually bothered to talk to the NPCs and figure things out on his own!]

[explosivecombat]

Not as much so as some of my others, but she's -

[...currently asleep.]

...well.

[Really.]

...if you would like to attempt capture, this might be a good time.

[glaciates]

[Welp.]

[Alright, let's try this capturing thing! Antony, you're going in the water. No, don't derp at him, he can't look cool while throwing this Pokéball if you're herping in his arms, okay?]

[...Well, he can't really look cool while throwing this Pokéball anyway, but details.]

[Let's do this thing! Isaac tosses the Pokéball at the Lapras and after the ball wiggles three times it clicks and returns to Isaac's hand.]

Great! Thanks, Kimblee!

[OH MY GOD HE CAUGHT A THING! \o/]

[explosivecombat]

[...yes, Isaac, you caught a thing. You are so herpily excited that you caught it, too, my god.]

Of course, Isaac. Don't mention it.

[No, really, don't mention it. His reputation.]

[glaciates]

[Alright, well now that it's his the Lapras should listen, right? Let's call it out and see! This can't end badly at all!]

[Thankfully it really can't; the Lapras is very linefacey, but other than that she doesn't do much. Isaac examines her thoughtfully for a moment.]

Guess I'll have to come up with a name at some point.

[He'll just be examining the Gear for information on this new Pokémon, lost in his own little world for the time being. You are the best senior, okay.]

[explosivecombat]

[Well, in the meantime Kimblee will just be recalling Kistna, who is a bit too busy being asleep to care; however, he isn't about to leave well enough alone just yet - he has no idea what the hell that thing was in the lake, but he's reasonably sure that it wasn't supposed to be there. Let's see what else there is, shall we?

He'll be sending out Abdiel then; god knows she'll make enough vibrations against the surface of the water to wake something up.]

Well, I would think so - what was that, exactly? I can't say I've seen one before now.

[glaciates]

It's called a "Lapras." It's a Water and Ice-type.

[He'll be staring wide-eyed at that Gear for a moment before turning back to Kimblee in awe.]

It's stats are amazing! I mean, I've only got three Pokémon and it's a higher level than they are but...

[But it puts his Shellder to shame! Is it an evolved Pokémon or something? It's insanely good and it has a lot of moves too!]

I wonder if there's anything else in the lake...?

[explosivecombat]

[...you keep herping at the Gear, it'll distract you from the giant dragonfly suddenly in Kimblee's face. He'll spend a moment giving her instructions before sending her off; it's not quite a game of "pretend you didn't just completely lose the stick you had your eye on two seconds ago", but it's close enough. Go forth and see what you can wake up, bb.]

Well, I intend to find out; if the things in here are as good as you say, then perhaps there's -

[...a very excited dragonfly over there because omgomgomgomg holy shit I found a thing.

A...very pretty thing, from the looks of it.

A very startlingly massive pretty thing holy shit Kimblee likes.

Time. We are not wasting it.]

Air Slash, Abdiel.