sculpted | VALENTINE'S DAY

VALENTINE'S DAY

[[DO YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS, ROUTE 29? IT'S GODDAMN VALENTINE'S DAY, THAT'S WHAT IT IS

and what could possibly be more fitting for the most beautiful day of the year than Major Alex Louis fucking Armstrong and his set of absolutely perfectly sculpted muscles?

But you could get that any day of the year! So what's special about today? Why, he's got two friends with him! And he's dazzling so hard that....well, his very words appear to be sparkling!]]

Truly, this is the most beautiful day of the year, friends!

[[Already crying deeply, here's Armstrong himself! But who is with him?

It's Hughes! He glances down at the outfit he's wearing, and then back up at Armstrong.]]

Well, this is certainly interesting!

[[Have a joking flex at the camera. He's laughing too hard to take himself seriously. But at least someone is having fun.]]

I can see why you enjoy this so much, Major! [[Not really. But in the spirit of all things happy, today he can.]] Ah, you know! If I'd dressed like this back home, we might have more than just little Elicia! But Elicia is all I really need in my life.

[[Whipping out a picture. Where does he keep those things? Nobody really knows.]]

JUST LOOK AT THIS ADORABLE LITTLE GIRL...!!

[[However, there's one more to add to the party....]]

Come on, knock it off, Armstrong!

[[It's Isaac!! That said, he's laughing. The happy feelings are infectious, after all!]]

[[SO NOW YOU'VE MET THE CAST. The ~~worst~~ best part? They're all dressed in costumes like THIS!

Where did they get them? Why did they get them? Who really cares? The point is, you're about to faced down by three very manly men (...well, two manly men + Hughes) wearing nothing but tight black pants and a bowtie collar, ready to educate you in the fine art of artistic shirtless flexing.]]

I am simply overwhelmed with the beauty and majesty of you, my friends!

Together, we will display our artisticly trained muscles to the world!

[[YOUR BODIES

THEY

ARE

NOT

READY]]

[[OOC: BASICALLY, COMMENT IN THIS POST AND HAVE THREE FMA-STYLE CHIPPENDALES DANCING AT/WITH YOU AND POTENTIALLY ASSAULTING YOU WITH SPARKLES AND PICTURES OF ADORABLE 3 YEAR OLDS. YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT, LBR.

FEEL FREE TO USE THIS AS A MINGLE POST TOO! EVERYONE IS WELCOME TO COME ANND TALK ABOUT HOW ~~TERRIFYING~~ BEAUTIFUL A SIGHT THIS IS!]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[No, no, Kimblee is a notorious sparkle-killer in his world, too. So he's...just as lost as you right now.]

I have no idea.

I genuinely have no idea.

[O...kay... well!]

I think I've seen enough to scar me for life. Shall we leave?

[And suddenly we're back to smirking like a douche! Because today is a great day and nothing can go wrong (outside of whatever the hell that is and we won't speak of it ever again)!]

I have something to discuss with you~

[...Archer, when you are the most welcome person in this entire area, something is...well. Not wrong, exactly, but it's incredibly likely that all isn't right in the world, either.]

Yes, let's -

[...wait, hang on, what's this

this sounds like something requiring deets]

Oh, is that so~?

[he will follow you just about anywhere right now for the sake of deets, man

deets make everything better and dear god is he mood-swingy today

probably has something to do with all the singing that's been going on lately

these pokemon are very musical, did you notice that archer it's amazing oh my god all the music

all

of

the music

all of it.]

[If you start singing, he'll punch you.]

[...Well, no he won't but! Let's not, alright, Kimblee~?]

[Anyway! We're just going to be returning to the hotel room if you don't mind~ You will get all the deets in a moment! ...Once he figures out what to say...]

Kimblee, I believe we need to discuss our relationship.

[This would probably lead into "this is gonna suck" territory if it weren't for the demented smirking going on over here. Normally this sort of thing would be really awkward and painful and he wouldn't want to approach it. But today is a glorious day and he just wants to tell the world how much he loves Kimblee! \o/]

[...Thankfully he'll try to have a bit more tact.]

[The hotel room is fine; now that he's away from the...uh, buffet of manliness or whatever the hell was going on out there, Kimblee relaxes easily enough. He still seems a little keyed-up, his hands immediately bunching themselves into the fabric of his sleeves when he folds his arms across his chest, but he takes up his usual position with his back to the wall regardless, leaning up against it casually and crossing his legs at the ankle.

He's also got a bit of a smirk playing about his features, though it's more because he doesn't seem to know what he should be doing with his face as opposed to any sort of genuine excitement or anticipation.

He has no idea what Archer's talking about. It's obvious.]

Go on, then.

[Oh, Kimblee, you have no idea what you're in for, do you?]

I'm interested in taking our relationship a step further, Kimblee. Obviously we work well together; we've spent a good amount of time together. It's only natural that we proceed to the next stage in our relationship.

[...You know, this usually works better if he's blunt.]

I suppose I'd be interested in more than just a platonic relationship, Kimblee.

[Tsuning would work better if he wasn't happybeamed to all hell, so instead have the smuggest tsun in the world!]

[...no. No, he hadn't had any idea. And now that it's out there, he supposes he should have; after their discussion last week, he had known about this. He had tried to find a way to explain it away for the last several days, to find another reason for Archer's behavior, and he had consistently come up short. Interest was the only thing that made any sort of logical sense; even if he didn't understand why, given that surely Archer understood his stance on such things (Why hadn't Archer dismissed this as a possibility? Why was he even telling him this...?) there really just wasn't anything else that could possibly...

He should have seen this coming. He hadn't.

He freezes.]

...Archer...

What?

[Any eye contact he might have been attempting to maintain is completely gone now. Archer immediately moves to examine his sleeves, though the smirk hasn't faded yet. This was a terrible idea, wasn't it?]

[...No, no of course not. Kimblee's just surprised, that's all. They care about each other obviously, regardless of what Kimblee might say. This is the obvious next step. There's no way around it.]

[Kimblee can feel the tightness in his posture, the tension gripping his shoulders and his upper back where he's pressed against the wall; he closes his eyes for a moment, forcing himself to relax. Calm down. There's nothing about this that should warrant this sort of reaction; any sense of overstimulation is purely the result of whatever's been striking him for the last few days. He's had moments where was particularly manic for no reason, where he's had to get out of the hotel and do something or else he would simply go mad from the lack of stimuli in the area; that's the only thing that could possibly be causing this.

He does like Archer, to some extent; as much as he likes anybody, anyway. At the very least, he's reasonably fond. But this...]

...I'm sorry, Archer.

[He isn't. He never is.]

[Archer's silent for a moment, the smirk gone and replaced by an expression that could almost be hurt if it was on anyone else. He's not angry. Maybe it's because of the strange high he's been riding all day, but he's not mad at Kimblee.]

...Don't lie to me. You're not sorry.

[He just sounds confused now.]

I don't... Why not, Kimblee? I don't understand.

[The obvious answer, as far as Kimblee is concerned, is "I don't need to explain myself to you." He bites it back; that's never what anyone wants to hear at moments like this, even though it's true.

Perhaps especially because it's true. Who knows? Kimblee has never had a good grasp on things like this; he knows the basics through experience - his own string of unregrettably failed relationships before Ishval - and through watching the others, back when they were on leave from the academy or returned home from a military campaign. He's learned how to act; he still can't say that he understands.]

I've made it very plain from the start that I'm disinterested in any sort of close relationships, haven't I?

[Oh. Yes... yes he did make that very clear. Archer once again goes back to playing with his sleeves, not really paying attention to them or Kimblee at this point.]

[He didn't think he'd be rejected, obviously. It hurts. He doesn't like dealing with pain, so the obvious solution here would be to ignore it. It doesn't take long for his expression to become distant.]

...Yes, you did mention that. My apologies, then.

Of course, Archer.

[He pauses for a moment; clearly, it's best to leave well enough alone for now.

...when has he ever left well enough alone, though]

How long have you been interested in something like this?

[There are some things better left unsaid, Kimblee!]

I... don't know.

[It hasn't actually occurred to him to question it. Archer frowns and stops picking at his sleeves for a moment, staring at the floor instead. Was there anything specific or any point in time he can remember distinctively thinking that yes, he definitely was interested in Kimblee?]

[...If there was, he's not recalling it now.]

I believe it's been awhile.

There was nothing you can think of that caused it? You just decided to...I don't know, take a chance, on the assumption that I might reciprocate?

[...waaaaaaaait.]

[Ar...cher...]

What in the world made you think I would be interested in that sort of thing to begin with? I'm not interested in men, you know.

Yes, that's basically...

[Wait...]

...You're not?

[But Kimblee, you're kind of the gayest thing ever!]

[...wait wait what

WHAT]

No. No, I'm not.

...Oh.

[Well this is awkward!]

It's just... you're very... flamboyant...

I'm...sorry, what?

[oh my goddddddd]

Kimblee, you can't seriously tell me that you're not flamboyant.

[And if you try, he'll lineface at you forever!]

It's hardly an insult.

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