VALENTINE'S DAY

[sculpted]

[[DO YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS, ROUTE 29? IT'S GODDAMN VALENTINE'S DAY, THAT'S WHAT IT IS

and what could possibly be more fitting for the most beautiful day of the year than Major Alex Louis fucking Armstrong and his set of absolutely perfectly sculpted muscles?

But you could get that any day of the year! So what's special about today? Why, he's got two friends with him! And he's dazzling so hard that....well, his very words appear to be sparkling!]]

Truly, this is the most beautiful day of the year, friends!

[[Already crying deeply, here's Armstrong himself! But who is with him?

It's Hughes! He glances down at the outfit he's wearing, and then back up at Armstrong.]]

Well, this is certainly interesting!

[[Have a joking flex at the camera. He's laughing too hard to take himself seriously. But at least someone is having fun.]]

I can see why you enjoy this so much, Major! [[Not really. But in the spirit of all things happy, today he can.]] Ah, you know! If I'd dressed like this back home, we might have more than just little Elicia! But Elicia is all I really need in my life.

[[Whipping out a picture. Where does he keep those things? Nobody really knows.]]

JUST LOOK AT THIS ADORABLE LITTLE GIRL...!!

[[However, there's one more to add to the party....]]

Come on, knock it off, Armstrong!

[[It's Isaac!! That said, he's laughing. The happy feelings are infectious, after all!]]

[[SO NOW YOU'VE MET THE CAST. The worst best part? They're all dressed in costumes like THIS!

Where did they get them? Why did they get them? Who really cares? The point is, you're about to faced down by three very manly men (...well, two manly men + Hughes) wearing nothing but tight black pants and a bowtie collar, ready to educate you in the fine art of artistic shirtless flexing.]]


I am simply overwhelmed with the beauty and majesty of you, my friends!

Together, we will display our artisticly trained muscles to the world!

[[YOUR BODIES

THEY

ARE

NOT

READY]]



[[OOC: BASICALLY, COMMENT IN THIS POST AND HAVE THREE FMA-STYLE CHIPPENDALES DANCING AT/WITH YOU AND POTENTIALLY ASSAULTING YOU WITH SPARKLES AND PICTURES OF ADORABLE 3 YEAR OLDS. YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT, LBR.

FEEL FREE TO USE THIS AS A MINGLE POST TOO! EVERYONE IS WELCOME TO COME ANND TALK ABOUT HOW TERRIFYING BEAUTIFUL A SIGHT THIS IS!]]

Comments

[determinator]

[Archer's silent for a moment, the smirk gone and replaced by an expression that could almost be hurt if it was on anyone else. He's not angry. Maybe it's because of the strange high he's been riding all day, but he's not mad at Kimblee.]

...Don't lie to me. You're not sorry.

[He just sounds confused now.]

I don't... Why not, Kimblee? I don't understand.

[explosivecombat]

[The obvious answer, as far as Kimblee is concerned, is "I don't need to explain myself to you." He bites it back; that's never what anyone wants to hear at moments like this, even though it's true.

Perhaps especially because it's true. Who knows? Kimblee has never had a good grasp on things like this; he knows the basics through experience - his own string of unregrettably failed relationships before Ishval - and through watching the others, back when they were on leave from the academy or returned home from a military campaign. He's learned how to act; he still can't say that he understands.]

I've made it very plain from the start that I'm disinterested in any sort of close relationships, haven't I?

[determinator]

[Oh. Yes... yes he did make that very clear. Archer once again goes back to playing with his sleeves, not really paying attention to them or Kimblee at this point.]

[He didn't think he'd be rejected, obviously. It hurts. He doesn't like dealing with pain, so the obvious solution here would be to ignore it. It doesn't take long for his expression to become distant.]

...Yes, you did mention that. My apologies, then.

[explosivecombat]

Of course, Archer.

[He pauses for a moment; clearly, it's best to leave well enough alone for now.

...when has he ever left well enough alone, though]

How long have you been interested in something like this?

[determinator]

[There are some things better left unsaid, Kimblee!]

I... don't know.

[It hasn't actually occurred to him to question it. Archer frowns and stops picking at his sleeves for a moment, staring at the floor instead. Was there anything specific or any point in time he can remember distinctively thinking that yes, he definitely was interested in Kimblee?]

[...If there was, he's not recalling it now.]

I believe it's been awhile.

1/3

[explosivecombat]

There was nothing you can think of that caused it? You just decided to...I don't know, take a chance, on the assumption that I might reciprocate?

[explosivecombat]

[...waaaaaaaait.]

[explosivecombat]

[Ar...cher...]

What in the world made you think I would be interested in that sort of thing to begin with? I'm not interested in men, you know.

1 / 2

[determinator]

Yes, that's basically...

[Wait...]

2 / 2

[determinator]

...You're not?

[But Kimblee, you're kind of the gayest thing ever!]

[explosivecombat]

[...wait wait what

WHAT]

No. No, I'm not.

[determinator]

...Oh.

[Well this is awkward!]

It's just... you're very... flamboyant...

[explosivecombat]

I'm...sorry, what?

[oh my goddddddd]

[determinator]

Kimblee, you can't seriously tell me that you're not flamboyant.

[And if you try, he'll lineface at you forever!]

It's hardly an insult.

[explosivecombat]

...I think we're defining "flamboyant" a bit differently to one another, Archer.

[...Garfiel.

Just. Garfiel, okay.]

[determinator]

Are we? I suppose you want specifics, then?

[Who the hell is Garfiel?]

[explosivecombat]

[Someone you are very fortunate to have never met. I may be leaning on the fourth wall a little bit here myself, but he's kind of legendary. Just take my word for it, Archer.]

That might be appreciated.

[determinator]

[Okay... sure... whatever you say, Kimblee.]

Well... You tend to be very flamboyant in your gestures.

[Let's see what's a good example-- oh! He'll just mirror that finger-flipping-pointing gesture that you occasionally do.]

Like this.

[explosivecombat]

...and this, of course, led to the completely logical conclusion that I'll date men.

[determinator]

Well, no, not that on its own. It's difficult to describe, Kimblee.

[Lineface.]

It doesn't help that we are rather close to begin with.

[And you've flirted with him! Yes, it's playing, but still! What else is he supposed to think?]

[explosivecombat]

...of course, Archer.

[...siiiiiiigh. All right, this isn't getting us anywhere, is it.]

You do realize that I'm still willing to keep it that way, then? As far as I'm concerned, nothing has changed.

[determinator]

...Right.

[Things he hadn't thought about...]

Of course. That's fine with me.

[It actually is. Especially considering the alternative; Kimblee could have decided he wanted nothing to do with Archer, after all.]

[explosivecombat]

Excellent - really, Archer, if anything I find it flattering; I see no reason why this should change anything.

[determinator]

[...Well, yes of course it would be flattering. You're on the receiving end! And you're getting genuine caring out of him! Of course you're flattered.]

That's... Thank you, then.

[explosivecombat]

[oh my god you have the biggest ego]

As long as we have an understanding.