sculpted | MISSION 004 [SOUTHERN ROUTE 35

[[GOOD MORNING, JOHTO! Should you be watching your video feed this fine day, or in the vicinity of the outskirts of Goldenrod City, you'll soon catch sight of Alex Louis Armstrong posing dramatically in front of the camera, shirtless. Of course.]]

I have a marvel for you all today! My beautiful Stein has evolved into his final form!

[[And suddenly, popping up in front of the camera is....

....a swan in a purple bra. A sparkly purple bra.]]

Witness the way the sunlight catches his glossy feathers! The way the light sparkles across his wings! Have you ever seen such a magnificent sight, Johto?!

[[As Armstrong speaks, the Swanna goes through a series of triumphant poses. And if one looks closely, they might even see some....pink sparkles near his eyes? Could he have learned the art of the Armstrong sparkle, passed down in the Major's family for generations?]]

My Pokemon are now all in their final forms! And so I pose this question to you, noble viewers; what Gyms do you recommend we take on? We have been training our bodies firmly and dutifully in preparation for this day!

[[And behind him, Armstrong's team of Pokemon sit quietly, mostly looking amused at his display. Some look annoyed, but more at the Swanna's posing rather than their trainer.]]

Alternatively, should you wish to come and marvel at the sight that is the magnificent and beautiful Stein the Swanna, I welcome you all with open arms!

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[WHAT

THE HELL

HAS HE JUST WITNESSED

.................BECAUSE IT WAS FABULOUS

holy hell you are actively getting applause from over here]

Very impressive, my good man - while the subject of your exuberance is admittedly an unusual one, that was quite the display.

[...OH GOD IT'S ARMSTRONG]

[IS IT TOO LATE TO TURN AND RUN]

[...SHIT IT'S TOTALLY TOO LATE ISN'T IT. OH GOD WHAT DOES HE DO.]

[...other than stand there and weep internally, that is.]

[[WHAT'S THIS? APPLAUSE?

WELL THEN HE'LL HAVE TO POSE AGAIN, WON'T HE?]]

Your compliments touch me deeply, sir! Are you stunned by the beauty of my wondrous Pokemon; and, of course, his wondrous trainer?

[[....

POSE]]

Colonel Archer!!!!

[[YOU HAVE BEEN SPOTTED, GOOD SIR! YOU CANNOT ESCAPE NOW!]]

[Ryuunosuke has received orders from Cobra to obtain information on the PGC's Pokémon. He doesn't know who is actually in this anti-Rocket organization, but he does have a list of names that was sent out.]

[...None of that matters at the moment though - Ryuunosuke is too busy staring in awe at the sparkling swan.]

Whoa...! What kind of Pokémon is that?

[Hi Armstrong, have a sparkley-eyed brat!]

Welcome!!!

[[HAVE YOU COME TO MARVEL AT THE BEAUTY OF HIS LOVELY PERFECT GORGEOUS HUG-IT-WHILE-SLEEPING ~~RAPIDASH~~ SWANNA???]]

[did you just ask him if he - ...okay no seriously what is in the water in Amestris

apparently london is full of quaint people

while amestris is some sort of haven of homoeroticism

...OH WELL, LET'S ROLL, WE GOT THIS]

Quite stunned indeed - it's not exactly something you see often around here, after all!

That, my dear boy, is a Swanna! But mine is of a rare, purple colouration! See how the sunlight sparkles in his feathers?

[[HAVE ANOTHER SWAN!POSE, RYUUNOSUKE! He is just loving all this attention, holy shit]]

I received him as an egg many months ago! See how he's grown? Truly, he is a credit to me!

[[.....

TEARS]]

[[IT'S OKAY TO BE STUNNED BY HIS MUSCLES, DESCOLE

IT'S OKAY

EMBRACE IT

....

WOULD YOU LIKE TO TOUCH THEM]]

This sort of display has been passed down in my family for generations! Us Armstrongs have always been proud to show off our god-given talents!

I am glad to have entertained you! It is my dearest wish that Stein and I bring a bit more sparkle to your morning!

[OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD]

...Armstrong...

[SCREAMING, HIS WHOLE BRAIN IS SCREAMING]

I see your... duck has evolved...

Ahhh~! It's so beautiful! He's a different color? What color are they normally? You hatched him from an egg? How cool!

[STEIN, CAN HE TOUCH YOU PLEASE]

[YOU'RE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SWAN EVER OMG OMG OMG]

He has! My beautiful duckling has blossomed into a magnificent swan!

[[CUE TRIUMPHANT POSE FROM SAID SWANNA! HE'S LOVING THIS SHIT]]

Have you come to marvel at him, Colonel? I wouldn't blame you; he's something else!!

[.....MOTHER OF GOD

it's a very rare occasion that Clive is genuinely impressed by people, but holy shit, color him motherfucking impressed right now

not just by the bird, either; his entire team looks pretty fucking awesome, and those muscles

~~he has finally found true love~~]

Very impressive, sir! I've never seen such a splendid sight!

[[HE WILL ALLOW TOUCHING

JUST EXCEPT TO BE TREATED TO THE HAUGHTIEST EXPRESSIONS IN THE WORLD

HE IS A PRINCE, OK]]

They are normally more of a blue colour! I still haven't quite discovered why Stein is different, but it hasn't affected his growth at all; I think he might even be a bit bigger than average!

I was actually out training my own Pokémon, but I will agree with you; he is something else.

[Okay, let's... try to recover from the massive brain-breakage here!]

What level are your Pokémon, Armstrong? Perhaps it might be best to test them in battle, hmm? I can tell you what I know about the Gyms if you can defeat me.

[Don't worry, he doesn't have all his level 100s on him! In fact, he's raising his lower-leveled things!]

[YOU'RE THE CUTEST LITTLE SWAN IN THE WORLD AREN'T YOU!!!]

[...he's so going to get pecked, isn't he...]

That's so cool! I'd love to have a really rare Pokémon like that!

[Oh don't worry, Armstrong! He's not planning on stealing Stein! ~~Because you could snap him in half and he tries not to pick fights with men if he can help it...~~]

What's the species called? What type is he?

Uh...Did you really have to put this on for the entire network?

[Why, no, he doesn't know why he's asking. Why do you ask?]

[[EMBRACE IT, CLIVE

EMBRACE THE SPARKLE

EMBRACE THE MUSCLES

YOU'RE VERY SEDUCED, I KNOW]]

Your compliments bring a tear to my eye, my boy! To be told such a wonderful thing...truly, you are a noble soul!!

Of course, Colonel! How else am I to ensure that everyone appreciates the beauty of my beloved Neuschwanstein?

[[DID YOU CATCH THAT NAME

IT'S ALRIGHT IF YOU DIDN'T]]

[NO THAT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT]

Well, you've certainly succeeded in that endeavor, my friend, have no doubt.

Oh? Are you proposing a Pokemon battle, Colonel?

[[LET HIM PUT HIS SHIRT BACK ON JUST TO RIP IT OFF AGAIN]]

I accept your challenge!! Name your terms!!

[WHY YES, CLIVE IS QUITE TURNED ON RIGHT NOW!!!]

I only speak the truth, good sir! Might I ask where you obtained such a magnificent specimen?

...And that's. Not necessarily a vital reason...

He is called a Swanna; a Water/Flying type! All his techniques are purely from those two types, as well! He's quite a wonder in battle; the problem is actually getting him to battle in the first place!

[[UGH WHY WOULD HE WANT TO BATTLE VOLUNTARILY

LOOK AT THESE FEATHERS MASTER HOW COULD HE RISK GETTING THEM DIRTY

....

did he mention he's a prince]]

Are you new in Johto, my boy? I haven't seen you around!

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