sculpted: (pic#4550312)
[The feed opens to the sight of a rather frazzled-looking Alex Louis Armstrong, who is in the middle of placing his Gear down on a flat surface. He’s shirtless, squatting down in front of the camera with a bemused expression on his face.]

Greetings, my friends! I was wondering if any of you had advice for dealing with a Pokemon who doesn’t really-

[Suddenly, Armstrong rises quickly, twists, and opens his arms, just in time to take a rather furious charge from a rather furious Mamoswine. Digging his feet into the earth, Armstrong fights to keep the Pokemon from trampling him, managing to stay standing and refusing to budge. Grunting and growling, the two struggle for a minute before the beast backs off, galloping away to prepare for another attempt.

Wiping sweat from his brow, Armstrong places his hands on his hips and turns back to the camera, exasperated.]


-doesn’t...really seem to like you all that much. I raised my dear Seldi from an egg, but she’s never taken to me.

[In the background, Seldi is scraping a foot against the ground, kicking up a small cloud of dust as she prepares to charge once more. Armstrong’s frown deepens; he doesn’t appear scared, just frustrated.]

I must admit that I am at a loss at what to do. Nothing seems to help! So, if any of you have been in this situation before and have any advice, it would be most appreciated-!!!

[The next charge is far faster than the last and far more aggressive, the Mamoswine roaring angrily as she pounds towards her trainer, who grimaces and prepares to intercept her, fists flexing. Again, she slams her tusks into him, but even with all her force he manages to stop her cold, dirt piling up around his boots as he forcefully digs his feet into the ground, sweat pouring down his back as he fights to stay up, teeth clenched and (exceptionally beautiful) muscles straining.

For a moment it looks like she might have overwhelmed him, as Armstrong drops to one knee, but it’s all part of his plan; suddenly unbalanced by the lack of force from one side, Seldi stumbles, allowing her trainer to hurl her sideways onto the ground. Once she’s down, he collapses onto hands and knees for a moment, panting, before straightening up and returning his eyes to the camera.]


Thank you very much for listening.
sculpted: (Gods one cannot ever repay)
[[GOOD DAY, JOHTO! Today, you will find your Gear blessed by a most beautiful text message, one of incomparable grace and sparkle!]]

It has been recently brought to my attention that my anniversary of residence in Johto passed not long ago!

[[Who on earth could be typing using such an obnoxious font colour? There can only be one....]]

To celebrate this most momentous occasion, I have decided to treat you all to my new style of 'texting', introduced to me by the most gracious and benevolent Miss Aradia Megido!

[[Of course. It's Alex Louis Armstrong. After that message, another one swiftly follows:]]

Is it not befitting a man as beautiful as myself? Gaze upon these most stunning of colours! Do they not lift your mood skyward? Do you feel your body flooding with happiness at the mere sight?

[[If that doesn't do the trick, then maybe....]]

Let us enjoy my anniversary together, everyone, and wish for another year of joy, bliss, and beautiful muscles!!

[[That message comes with an attachment; a picture of a shirtless Armstrong flexing for the camera, with the text 'HAPPY ANNIVERSARY' printed across the top.

Happy....anniversary, Johto.....]]


---

A translation of this blindingly beautiful mess can be found here! )
sculpted: (pic#4884949)
[[Hello and welcome to another fantastically manly Alex Louis Armstrong broadcast! Today, we're starting with a scintillating view of our (shirtless, of course) hero, standing just on the outskirts of Violet City.

Faced with a snarling Garchomp.

...make that a snarling and charging Garchomp, as the beast rockets forward, claws out, ready to barrel into Armstrong....!

...who promptly moves to the side with speed that a man of his size simply shouldn't possess, lightly knocking the Garchomp's strikes away with his fists. Screeching, she pivots sharply and swings her tail toward him, but that too is avoided with apparent ease. Tensing, Armstrong lands a good uppercut on the Garchomp's chin before finishing with a firm strike to her chest. The Garchomp, stunned, crashes to the ground, prompting her trainer to laugh loudly.]]


Your technique is improving, Zahna! A few more sessions like this and even I, Alex Louis Armstrong, will stand no chance against you!

[[Harsh demeanor gone, the (obviously unhurt; Armstrong isn't aiming to injure) Garchomp pushes herself to her feet, looking at her trainer with wide, almost reverent eyes, nodding at everything he's saying. It's clear, however, that she doesn't quite believe she'll ever be able to beat him in battle.

Turning back to the camera, Armstrong moves to switch off the feed, but behind him Zahna sneaks forward, obviously seeing if a sneak attack will work. She leaps....!

....and is immediately intercepted and hurled over Armstrong's shoulder, landing off-screen with a rather firm thud.]]


Attacking a man from behind is not honourable, my dear!
sculpted: (Across the Firmament's splendid design)
[[The feed opens to a pair of rather handsome Pokemon - an Arcanine and a shiny Swanna - standing before a small clutch of eggs.



The Arcanine is looking very jovial and the Swanna is posing as they indicate the eggs and then indicate towards the feed, obviously proud of their efforts. It looks like they want to give them away!

In the background, there comes the sound of sobbing. Their trainer, Major Alex Louis Armstrong, is currently in a fit of sobs with his Pidgeot trying to calm him down. He's standing slightly out of view of the camera, but to anyone that knows him...it's pretty obvious just who trains these Pokemon.]]


To want to d-donate your eggs to the network....surely we can come to a compromise, there's no need....!!

[[But there apparently is a need, as the Arcanine nudges the eggs a bit, rolling them slightly closer to the camera. The Swanna, instead, picks up two of them and mimes....what looks to be a trade?]]

S-such generousity....truly, you are all worthy of being honourary members of the Armstrong family, where such traits have been p-passed down through the generations....!!

[[The Arcanine and Swanna exchanged a concerned glance. Maybe if they get him some eggs to look after, their trainer will stop crying so much.....!!

....

....well it's...worth a shot, anyway....]]



~~


[[OOC: There are still some unclaimed eggs over at the Claims post if you're interested!]]

4TH WALL

May. 25th, 2012 07:55 pm
sculpted: (the Strong Arm alchemist)
[[This was a morning that Major Alex Louis Armstrong was not going to forget.

It had started as a morning like any other; he awoken in his bed in Goldenrod City, his Arcanine and Luxray snoozing on his legs. It was a beautiful morning; the sun was shining in through his open curtains and it made him smile.

Not as much, however, as the sight of his gauntlets did.

He'd noticed that his arms felt heavier than normal, but it was a comforting, natural weight, the feeling of the steel wrapping around his hands. He brought his beloved weapons up to his eyes, wide and staring, the alchemy circles as clear as the day they were burned into the metal.

His poor Pokemon were far less impressed by the whole situation, awoken by the impact of the floor against their faces as their estatic trainer literally leaps right out of bed. But his happiness is their happiness, and they gladly trail after him as he makes a mad rush out the door, almost forgetting to pull on a shirt.

The route outside the city is soon subjected to every single move in his repertoire; countless statues, missiles, walls, designs of all shapes and sizes...to be able to do this again is the greatest gift he could have asked for. His shirt long discarded, he bellows up to the sky before pounding his fist down into the earth.]]


Witness the artistic alchemy passed down through the Armstrong family for generations!

[[He isn't even addressing anyone in particular, but being able to say that line again....the feeling is enough to bring a tear to his eye. As is the sight of his Golem spinning through the massive walls and spikes he's creating to respond with his own, even winking with the traditional Armstrong sparkle.

Being able to teach his very first Pokemon the Armstrong alchemy style of earth and rock manipulation....it's one of the most beautiful feelings in the world.]]
sculpted: (Gods one cannot ever repay)
[[GOOD MORNING, JOHTO! Should you be watching your video feed this fine day, or in the vicinity of the outskirts of Goldenrod City, you'll soon catch sight of Alex Louis Armstrong posing dramatically in front of the camera, shirtless. Of course.]]

I have a marvel for you all today! My beautiful Stein has evolved into his final form!

[[And suddenly, popping up in front of the camera is....



....a swan in a purple bra. A sparkly purple bra.]]


Witness the way the sunlight catches his glossy feathers! The way the light sparkles across his wings! Have you ever seen such a magnificent sight, Johto?!

[[As Armstrong speaks, the Swanna goes through a series of triumphant poses. And if one looks closely, they might even see some....pink sparkles near his eyes? Could he have learned the art of the Armstrong sparkle, passed down in the Major's family for generations?]]

My Pokemon are now all in their final forms! And so I pose this question to you, noble viewers; what Gyms do you recommend we take on? We have been training our bodies firmly and dutifully in preparation for this day!

[[And behind him, Armstrong's team of Pokemon sit quietly, mostly looking amused at his display. Some look annoyed, but more at the Swanna's posing rather than their trainer.]]

Alternatively, should you wish to come and marvel at the sight that is the magnificent and beautiful Stein the Swanna, I welcome you all with open arms!
sculpted: (To virtue's steep hill)
[[Should you be on the outskirts of Goldenrod City today, you may come across a shirtless Major Armstrong and his Riolu, who are standing just off the path leading to the Daycare. They appear to be having some sort of argument; well, Armstrong is doing the angry talking and the Riolu is looking indignant and sulky.

Armstrong is a fighter by heart, and when he realised Riolu's talents for fighting, he immediately set out to teach the little Pokemon all he knew about hand to hand combat. He took to it well, quickly learning a number of techniques ranging from simple to complex.

There is one thing, however, that has Armstrong concerned.]]


ACTION; feat. a bitchy Riolu and a Graveler who just learned Self-Destruct )

TEXT - NETWORK; feat. OH GOD MY POKEMON IS THE WRONG COLOUR IS HE SICK )

TEXT - PRIVATE; to Maes Hughes )
sculpted: (Sorrow and Poverty come forth)
[[DO YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS, ROUTE 29? IT'S GODDAMN VALENTINE'S DAY, THAT'S WHAT IT IS

and what could possibly be more fitting for the most beautiful day of the year than Major Alex Louis fucking Armstrong and his set of absolutely perfectly sculpted muscles?

But you could get that any day of the year! So what's special about today? Why, he's got two friends with him! And he's dazzling so hard that....well, his very words appear to be sparkling!]]


Truly, this is the most beautiful day of the year, friends!

[[Already crying deeply, here's Armstrong himself! But who is with him?

It's Hughes! He glances down at the outfit he's wearing, and then back up at Armstrong.]]


Well, this is certainly interesting!

[[Have a joking flex at the camera. He's laughing too hard to take himself seriously. But at least someone is having fun.]]

I can see why you enjoy this so much, Major! [[Not really. But in the spirit of all things happy, today he can.]] Ah, you know! If I'd dressed like this back home, we might have more than just little Elicia! But Elicia is all I really need in my life.

[[Whipping out a picture. Where does he keep those things? Nobody really knows.]]

JUST LOOK AT THIS ADORABLE LITTLE GIRL...!!


[[However, there's one more to add to the party....]]

Come on, knock it off, Armstrong!

[[It's Isaac!! That said, he's laughing. The happy feelings are infectious, after all!]]

[[SO NOW YOU'VE MET THE CAST. The worst best part? They're all dressed in costumes like THIS!

Where did they get them? Why did they get them? Who really cares? The point is, you're about to faced down by three very manly men (...well, two manly men + Hughes) wearing nothing but tight black pants and a bowtie collar, ready to educate you in the fine art of artistic shirtless flexing.]]



I am simply overwhelmed with the beauty and majesty of you, my friends!

Together, we will display our artisticly trained muscles to the world!


[[YOUR BODIES

THEY

ARE

NOT

READY]]




[[OOC: BASICALLY, COMMENT IN THIS POST AND HAVE THREE FMA-STYLE CHIPPENDALES DANCING AT/WITH YOU AND POTENTIALLY ASSAULTING YOU WITH SPARKLES AND PICTURES OF ADORABLE 3 YEAR OLDS. YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT, LBR.

FEEL FREE TO USE THIS AS A MINGLE POST TOO! EVERYONE IS WELCOME TO COME ANND TALK ABOUT HOW TERRIFYING BEAUTIFUL A SIGHT THIS IS!]]
sculpted: (As truth's fiery reflection)
[[It's a rather pleasant day in Violet City. Major Armstrong, having explored the Bell Tower and other surrounding areas, has decided to take a break underneath a tree in a quiet area of town. With him are his two Pokemon. Ben the Geodude and Maa the Pidgey, along with three Pokemon eggs sitting in his bag.

He's wrapped them tightly in his spare clothes and towel, and positioned the bag near his (beautifully sparkly hot) body to ensure they stay warm in the chilly weather.]]


Ah, I haven't practiced like this in a while.

[[He's referring to the sketchpad propped up against his knee, where a rather good likeness of his Geodude and Pidgey is forming. While excellent at portraits, Armstrong is out of practice with other forms of drawing, and as such sketching his Pokemon is doing his hand a world of good.

When the picture is close to being finished, his Geodude strikes a pose while his Pidgey flutters over and seats herself on his head, pecking gently at his curl while she examines the picture.]]


What do you think? This is but one of the many artistic techniques passed down through my family for generations, you know! If it were possible I'd show you my alche-

[[Peck peck. The Pidgey pecks the picture, interrupting his spiel, before pecking his head and repeating the gestures.]]

....you....you want me to draw myself in the picture with you?

[[A happy chirp!

....followed by...happy tears...]]
sculpted: (One sees it stand in the angels' chorus)
[[Should you have your Pokegear on today, you'll be treated to the sight of a massive, muscular military man peering solemnly into the camera. Those familiar with him will recognize him in an instant; it's Major Alex Armstrong of the Amestrian military, and he's staring at the Pokegear with a mixture of curiousity and mild concern.]]

This is Major Armstrong reporting in; could I get a status report? Do you copy, Central HQ?

[[He'll furrow his brow when he gets no response, folding his arms. Behind him, a Geodude floats slowly, occasionally looking over his shoulder into the feed.]]

Quite odd, quite odd. I suppose the connection is broken.

[[He looks around briefly, appearing to fiddle with some buttons on the Pokegear while doing so.]]

I've never seen this map before....hmm.

[[Shaking his head, the man turns back to the feed.]]

Should anyone be receiving this, I've come into contact with what appears to be a chimera of some sort; it's made no attempts at violence and appears to be quite intelligent. For now, I'm going to explore this unfamiliar landscape and search for personnel. Over.

[[Having finished with his report, the man closes his eyes for a moment, before turning to the Geodude floating behind him.]]

Dear fellow, I don't suppose you could point me in a good direction?

HMD

Jan. 8th, 2012 03:11 pm
sculpted: (One sees it stand in the angels' chorus)
Comments screened, as per usual.